Although I’m lactose intolerant, I generally love ice cream. Mostly I like it from an ice cream parlor not out of a carton. A few months back I was bitching to my husband about how all ice cream parlors are so HOT? Like why? You are storing ice cream! Shouldn’t it be freezing balls up in here?
Anyway, after being on a diet for about 2 minutes I broke down and needed an ice cream. The closest place to us was a Dairy Queen, so we went. Just as we are about to walk in, my husband says to me, “Do you think it will be a million degrees in here?”. As I did my famous giant eye roll, I replied “YAAAAS!”.
I opened the door to Dairy Queen which might as well have been the gates to hell. It was a WHOOSH of heat as we walked in. I should have known better than to stay considering there were like 10 people waiting around for their order but I did really good on my 2 minute diet and was ready to reward myself.
Josh and I proceeded to wait in HELL while the high school staff worked as slow as molasses to fill the 10 orders in front of us. During this time, my non thigh gap legs decided they were going to chaff and sweat like I’d been working out for an hour. Then my stomach started to grumble, apparently my stomach knew I was about to ingest lactose and was warning me of what was to come. I looked at my ever so calm husband and said, “Maybe we don’t need these blizzards… maybe we should just go!?” As always, he just reminded me to be patient. After 30 minutes of impatiently waiting, we got our order and headed to the car. I shit you not, from the time I picked up my blizzard to the 5 steps to the car, my ice cream was a melty mess. What in the actual F is happening? I didn’t order a shake… I ordered a blizzard that I wanted to eat with a spoon. I was so frustrated at this point I almost threw it away but I thought better of it and knew I really did deserve this after working so hard on my diet. **Edit: I slurped a handful of slurpes and then threw it away**
So the moral of the story is that ice cream shops need to get their shit together and turn on the AC.
Melted Ice Cream: Courtesy of Ross Dress for Less